When you are a child, you think constantly about growing up.
I see this on a daily basis with my students who are acting well beyond their years and dreaming about when they can be a teacher because that means they can run out to Subway for lunch. They dream of growing up for greater freedom and for the ability to make decisions on their own. They think being a grown up sounds easy, and wonderful, and fun. So, I can't help but wonder ... when does that all begin?
The Earliest Years
This yearning to grow up all begins as a young child prior to going to school. There is no age limit to dreaming about your future or pretending to be grown ups. A child's imagination can develop by the age of 2, so even before they are speaking in full sentences they can start imagining their life in different ways.
You start to dress up your friends and siblings (or in my case, forced - sorry Gully-Guh) and coerce them to play house or store with you while you act out your future. It usually includes the required house, car, stellar clothing options and of course 2.5 children and a pet who usually took the form of the nearest Sesame Street stuffed animal. There weren't any obstacles in your way aside from nap time and even that could be incorporated into your game. Your life was perfect in every way and the only thing that could make it better was taking a trip to the 'store' to buy some cookies.
The Middle Years
You enter upper elementary school and you start to get serious about your future. This isn't kids play anymore. You wouldn't dare being caught playing house or dressing up and Mr and Mrs with your friends or, God forbid, your brother. No, there is far to much at stake now.
You start to play M.A.S.H with all of your friends, thinking you were so stealthy to even play if 'behind' your teacher's back while watching Bill Nye. You start to realize that it may not be all gravy to be an adult and you start to factor in some poorer options. You don't only include a mansion, apartment and house you start to include a shack and pray to the sweet baby Jesus that you don't have to live in a shack.
The beauty of the game MASH was that you got to choose the categories and you could imagine your life in as many ways as you wished. The downfall? You always had to include one terrible option in each category. So if you were choosing your future husband you always had to include someone you wouldn't want to marry even if he was the last man on earth - usually taking the form of Screech or Urkel. Yes, you had a 75% chance of choosing the best options, but that 25% was a terrifying factor. The odds start to feel stacked against you and you realize that a lot is left up to fate (or your best friend's counting abilities).
The I'm Almost a Grown Up Years
In high school you start to enter the dating world and for the first time start to look at members of the opposite (or same) sex in a different light. You start to recognize their positive and negative traits and wonder if you could see yourself staying with them at least until the end of high school. You start to recognize that having your parents finally treat you like an adult isn't that great. I mean how are you possibly supposed to pay for your own car insurance, gas and save for college while having a personal life? Can't they see that is impossible and something is just going to have to go?! Don't they want you to develop socially?
Then you leave for college and you are officially a grown you. You live on your own (okay, with 60 of dorm mates) and are required to wake yourself up every morning on your own, attend classes, get your work done AND do your own laundry. Suddenly being a grown up doesn't seem so great. Can't your mom come visit every other weekend and do your laundry so you can go to the hopping house party? No? Well, crap.
Grown Up
Then you become a grown up officially by age and status. You live on your own, hold down a steady job, pay your bills on time and buy your first car. You are responsible for everything in your life and are expected to understand it all. On top of all of that you are supposed to date, get married and start a family. It seems like an awful lot and you start to yearn for the earliest years when you could put your brother in a dress and tell him to play your best friend and you were going shopping.
In the words of Meredith Grey: When did we become adults and how do we make it stop?
I see this on a daily basis with my students who are acting well beyond their years and dreaming about when they can be a teacher because that means they can run out to Subway for lunch. They dream of growing up for greater freedom and for the ability to make decisions on their own. They think being a grown up sounds easy, and wonderful, and fun. So, I can't help but wonder ... when does that all begin?
The Earliest Years
This yearning to grow up all begins as a young child prior to going to school. There is no age limit to dreaming about your future or pretending to be grown ups. A child's imagination can develop by the age of 2, so even before they are speaking in full sentences they can start imagining their life in different ways.
You start to dress up your friends and siblings (or in my case, forced - sorry Gully-Guh) and coerce them to play house or store with you while you act out your future. It usually includes the required house, car, stellar clothing options and of course 2.5 children and a pet who usually took the form of the nearest Sesame Street stuffed animal. There weren't any obstacles in your way aside from nap time and even that could be incorporated into your game. Your life was perfect in every way and the only thing that could make it better was taking a trip to the 'store' to buy some cookies.
The Middle Years
You enter upper elementary school and you start to get serious about your future. This isn't kids play anymore. You wouldn't dare being caught playing house or dressing up and Mr and Mrs with your friends or, God forbid, your brother. No, there is far to much at stake now.
You start to play M.A.S.H with all of your friends, thinking you were so stealthy to even play if 'behind' your teacher's back while watching Bill Nye. You start to realize that it may not be all gravy to be an adult and you start to factor in some poorer options. You don't only include a mansion, apartment and house you start to include a shack and pray to the sweet baby Jesus that you don't have to live in a shack.
The beauty of the game MASH was that you got to choose the categories and you could imagine your life in as many ways as you wished. The downfall? You always had to include one terrible option in each category. So if you were choosing your future husband you always had to include someone you wouldn't want to marry even if he was the last man on earth - usually taking the form of Screech or Urkel. Yes, you had a 75% chance of choosing the best options, but that 25% was a terrifying factor. The odds start to feel stacked against you and you realize that a lot is left up to fate (or your best friend's counting abilities).
The I'm Almost a Grown Up Years
In high school you start to enter the dating world and for the first time start to look at members of the opposite (or same) sex in a different light. You start to recognize their positive and negative traits and wonder if you could see yourself staying with them at least until the end of high school. You start to recognize that having your parents finally treat you like an adult isn't that great. I mean how are you possibly supposed to pay for your own car insurance, gas and save for college while having a personal life? Can't they see that is impossible and something is just going to have to go?! Don't they want you to develop socially?
Then you leave for college and you are officially a grown you. You live on your own (okay, with 60 of dorm mates) and are required to wake yourself up every morning on your own, attend classes, get your work done AND do your own laundry. Suddenly being a grown up doesn't seem so great. Can't your mom come visit every other weekend and do your laundry so you can go to the hopping house party? No? Well, crap.
Grown Up
Then you become a grown up officially by age and status. You live on your own, hold down a steady job, pay your bills on time and buy your first car. You are responsible for everything in your life and are expected to understand it all. On top of all of that you are supposed to date, get married and start a family. It seems like an awful lot and you start to yearn for the earliest years when you could put your brother in a dress and tell him to play your best friend and you were going shopping.
In the words of Meredith Grey: When did we become adults and how do we make it stop?
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