Jealousy is a really interesting concept. It can be something that encourages you do to better or it can be a debilitating pain that you find it hard to control. William Shakespeare described jealous as the green-eyed monster whereas others may consider jealousy a disease. Jealousy is something that creeps into your life without you even thinking about it or encouraging it - it is just there.
Jealousy is defined by Webster as "feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success or advantages." I'm not sure that I agree with that completely. Is it really resentment? Or is it flattery? Or is it just an undying longing to have what the other person has - not through resentment but through longing?
So, I can't help but ask myself ... is it really so bad?
Yes. And No. I think it all depends in the execution.
If you fall in the camp of yes, jealousy is a terrible thing then that tells me that your execution - failing. If you don't get hired for the job and you throw a bitchin' fit in the parking lot, stomping and screaming at the applicant that did get hired ... Then yes, jealousy is a horrendous thing. If you are truly feeling unrelenting resentment towards the other person then yes .... jealousy is a terrible thing. But what is resentment is the wrong word?
Let's continue by exploring the no. Is it really so bad to feel jealous of something that someone else has? When I was a child, the mantra was always that jealousy is the highest form of flattery. If someone has the time and energy to feel jealous of you, then that means they want to be more like you. Therefore, on the other side of that coin ... if you feel jealous of someone else, you are really just experiencing some intense feelings of how much you want what they have or want to be like they are.
In elementary school, you are jealous of someone who has a larger pack of unbroken Crayola crayons that you do. You are jealous because they have something that you want.
In middle school, you are jealous of someone for having cooler clothes than you do or being part of the popular group of students. You don't know the word resentment, you just want what they have more than what you have.
In high school, you are jealous of someone for getting the part you wanted in the play but because they are your friend you are still happy for them. You don't resent them, you just wanted the same part they did.
In the adult years, you are jealous of someone for having all of their ducks in a row. You are jealous of someone who is on the right track. You don't resent them and wish away their happiness, you just want it so desperately for yourself that you feel an intense longing. You remain happy for them, and support and cheer them on along their journey. But in your heart, you feel the green-eyed monster peeking out as you hurriedly squash it down to stay hidden. You hope that your skin isn't starting to turn girl as it channels the wicked witch of the west and pray desperately that no one else will notice.
But the truth of the matter is, this is normal. It is normal to feel jealous and want what others want because the grass is always greener. Someone's sugar is always sweeter and their rainbows are ever brighter.
So, where do we go from here? How do we feel jealous of someone without it ruining the relationship? How do we feel jealous of someone without letting resentment creep in? How do we feel jealous of someone without letting the inner bitch jump out? I guess we take deep breathes, push the monster back down and move on with our lives.
Jealousy is defined by Webster as "feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success or advantages." I'm not sure that I agree with that completely. Is it really resentment? Or is it flattery? Or is it just an undying longing to have what the other person has - not through resentment but through longing?
So, I can't help but ask myself ... is it really so bad?
Yes. And No. I think it all depends in the execution.
If you fall in the camp of yes, jealousy is a terrible thing then that tells me that your execution - failing. If you don't get hired for the job and you throw a bitchin' fit in the parking lot, stomping and screaming at the applicant that did get hired ... Then yes, jealousy is a horrendous thing. If you are truly feeling unrelenting resentment towards the other person then yes .... jealousy is a terrible thing. But what is resentment is the wrong word?
Let's continue by exploring the no. Is it really so bad to feel jealous of something that someone else has? When I was a child, the mantra was always that jealousy is the highest form of flattery. If someone has the time and energy to feel jealous of you, then that means they want to be more like you. Therefore, on the other side of that coin ... if you feel jealous of someone else, you are really just experiencing some intense feelings of how much you want what they have or want to be like they are.
In elementary school, you are jealous of someone who has a larger pack of unbroken Crayola crayons that you do. You are jealous because they have something that you want.
In middle school, you are jealous of someone for having cooler clothes than you do or being part of the popular group of students. You don't know the word resentment, you just want what they have more than what you have.
In high school, you are jealous of someone for getting the part you wanted in the play but because they are your friend you are still happy for them. You don't resent them, you just wanted the same part they did.
In the adult years, you are jealous of someone for having all of their ducks in a row. You are jealous of someone who is on the right track. You don't resent them and wish away their happiness, you just want it so desperately for yourself that you feel an intense longing. You remain happy for them, and support and cheer them on along their journey. But in your heart, you feel the green-eyed monster peeking out as you hurriedly squash it down to stay hidden. You hope that your skin isn't starting to turn girl as it channels the wicked witch of the west and pray desperately that no one else will notice.
But the truth of the matter is, this is normal. It is normal to feel jealous and want what others want because the grass is always greener. Someone's sugar is always sweeter and their rainbows are ever brighter.
So, where do we go from here? How do we feel jealous of someone without it ruining the relationship? How do we feel jealous of someone without letting resentment creep in? How do we feel jealous of someone without letting the inner bitch jump out? I guess we take deep breathes, push the monster back down and move on with our lives.
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