This Is Your Sign

We humans live our lives by the grace of signs.

We wake up in the morning to an alarm blaring - a sign it is time to start our day.
We come running when we hear our personal ringtone - a sign that someone is calling.
We glance at our phone when the text tone goes off - a sign that you have a message.
We listen to bells ring at school - a sign it is time to switch classes, eat lunch or go to recess.
We keep our eyes open when driving to see yields, no right turns - signs that keep us safe in the car.
We wait for the red light to turn off on the stove - a sign that the oven is preheated.
We carefully label our businesses - signs that welcome customers in.
We take our temps if our heads feel hot - a sign that we are sick.
We check labels for warnings - signs of what not to do.
We even deliver signs to people when they make a dumb move by saying, "Here's your sign!"

But there is one type of sign that we obsessively look for, desperately searching the skies for a sign. This is a sign that we may or may not see. It is a sign that could be right in front of our face, though we are completely oblivious to it.

This particular type of sign is one that I, personally, yearn to see. It is a sign from Heaven.
A sign from my dad that says, "Don't worry, I am okay."
A sign that says, "I love you."
A sign that says, "I am proud of you."
A sign that says, "I'm here."
A sign that says, "You will be a beautiful bride."
A sign that says, "You will be a great mother."
A sign that says, "I miss you."

But what is it? What does a sign from Heaven, from our loved one really look like? Did you know that they actually make top 10 lists about this? I mean, who sat there and polled the world asking what type of sign they believe they saw and then compiled a top 10 list? But they did ... and here it is. (Though you should know that despite saying they are a top 10 ... they are really a top 9)

1. Dream Visitation
2. Strange Electrical Occurrences
3. Feeling their Presence
4. Smelling their Scent
5. Show up as an Insect, or an Animal
6. Moving Objects or Placing Objects in your Path
7. Communicate a Message
8. Increased Number of Coincidences
9. Visions

If you ask me, this list is pretty vague. So anytime the lights flicker I should assume it is my dad? My grandpa? Anytime a bug crosses my path or a deer shows up, I should assume it is him? I don't know if I buy it.

Saying this, the other day there was a majestic deer standing by the bike rack when I got to work in the morning. We stared, frozen, at each other for awhile - neither of us daring to move. Then a car drove past and broke our trance and the deer gracefully ran away. I admit that for a few moments I did wonder if it was my dad. Ultimately, I thought that it was a nice thought but couldn't say if it was a sign or just another deer hanging out at school, which they commonly do.

How do we know if it is a sign? When is a coincidence a coincidence and when is it a sign? I don't have the answers to this - at all. But I do know that I wish I would obviously, and conclusively receive a sign from above. A sign from my dad who I fiercely miss.

So, here I sit. Begging the dear Lord above for a sign. Hoping that when or if it does appear that it smacks me in the face so that I absolutely know it is what it is.

Time

31,536,000 seconds.

525,600 minutes.

8,760 hours.

365 days.

52 weeks.

8,409,600 breathes. 

10,512,000 blinks.

2,920 hours of sleep.

2,080 hours of work.

1,996 pounds of food eaten.

5,840,000 words spoken.

Phew, I am sure that most of you are thinking that this is a lot of numbers and they seem quite randomly strung together. There is a purpose to it, I promise.

All of the numbers listed above from 52 at the smallest to over 31 million at the largest are ways to measure a year. You can measure a year in many different ways - some that you may not have thought to use as a measurement tool.

There is a well known saying that says, "Life is Not Measured by the Number of Breathes We Take, But By the Moments that take Our Breathes Away."  Well ... that may be true, but apparently we can measure our life by the number of breathes we take. Over 8 million to be exact.

So, why am I sharing this with you? Well ... I have found that time is a really hard concept to understand (and no, I am not referring to teaching students how to find elapsed time - that is a blog post in and of itself). I keep trying to figure out how the measure of time can remain constant, yet feel so erratic.

When you are bored, an hour of time drags so slowly that it may as well go backwards.
When you are having fun, an hour of time flies at the speed of light.
When you are watching a loved one suffer, every second is a painfully long tick on the clock.
When you are missing someone desperately, the days travel at two speeds - simultaneously at a snail's crawl and at a cheetah's run.
When you find that you have massive amounts of stuff to do, the year moves faster than is possible while you watch your to-do list seemingly grow.
When you want to get married, then time appears to melt off the clock.
When you want to have a baby, the time you spend trying to get pregnant feels like eons longer than it actually is.

What is up with that? How can time drag by second by second, and then fly by day by day as you anxiously wish for more time. Is there ever enough time?

I obviously don't have the answers here, folks. But it is food for thought, I guess. How do we desperately hold onto the time that we have and truly make the most of it while honoring those that we miss?

We live. We breathe. We remember. We smile. We laugh. We hope.