Showing posts with label life plans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life plans. Show all posts

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Tech - no or yes?

Technology can be a wonderful thing. It can be used to assist humans in every facet of their life. People can buy groceries, clothes, shoes, gifts, TVs, games, books, and movies without leaving the comfort of their own home. We can search for the person of our dreams and even embark on an online date while sitting on the couch in grungy clothes and nobody will ever know that you skipped a shower that morning. We can get a degree, go on virtual field trips, talk to friends, book a vacation, find recipes and never open our mouths. We can stream movies and music without having to go to the store to buy the record or rent the movie. All of this is literally at the tips of our fingers.

This all sounds wonderful, doesn't it? I mean, who seriously doesn't want their groceries delivered to their doorstep? I am guilty of doing many of the activities I listed above and find myself at a loss when the wifi is down. I am a HUGE reader ... but if the wifi is down I can't stream music while I read my real book rather than the computer version of a book. It is so much a part of our lives that many of us do not even know how to function when the internet is down.

Technology is something that makes our lives easier ... but if we take it away can we still function as human beings?

In the world of technology ... you can reinvent yourself online and allow people to get to know the "new" you. You can photoshop your photos, only share your best attributes, and well, lie. Nobody will know unless you decide to meet in real life.

In the world of technology .... students struggle to write complete sentences and rather write using "text speak" -u, r, k, TBT, TTYL, *$, BBIAF, HOYEW. (If the rest of you are wondering what those mean ... don't worry, I had to look it up too...)

In the world of technology ... you can say whatever you want via text or e-mail. The shyest person suddenly becomes the bravest because you don't have to worry about seeing the other person's reactions or feel bad when they start to cry. Because their tears are hidden behind their phone. You don't see the pride, joy, sadness, shame or hurt that comes from your words.

In the world of technology ... you text rather than talk on the phone. In fact, you prefer to text and feel wholly uncomfortable when you are asked to focus solely on a phone conversation and not multi-task.

In the world of technology ... you see tables of people going out to dinner where every single person is holding some form of technology. Even the two year old at the table knows how to work an iPad and can even be seen teaching their parents what to do.

In the world of technology ... you can order drinks, appetizers and even call your server back to your table using a tablet ... which can be found at every single table in the place.

In the world of technology ... you don't dare go somewhere alone without your headphones. You walk through the mall with your head down and eyes blazing holes into your phone screen. You walk with ear buds in as you take the dog out, or when you hike alone on a trail. God forbid you listen to the birds singing.

In the world of technology ... you stay up late on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Instagram, SnapChat checking up on the latest gossip and pics. So much so that the blue light our device emits causes you to sleep poorly ... which in turn causes you to grab the technology which in turn causes you .... you get it.

In the world of technology .... you have millions of books at your finger tips. Many kids prefer to read books on their Kindle, Nook, or iPad rather than experience the feeling of turning the pages by hand.



So where is the happy medium? Should there be tech free hours in homes? Schools? Libraries? At what point does technology do us more harm than good? 

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Friend Zoned

Recently, I met someone for dinner that I had encountered in the online dating realm. We talked online, texted a lot and finally decided to meet. Our schedules didn't coincide very well and we live almost 2 hours from each other. We finally found a date to meet, made a plan and got together. Everything was great, we talked a lot and there weren't any awkward pauses but I couldn't get the thought out of my head that he would be a great friend. That's it. A friend.

Now, this doesn't seem like the end of the world. But I suppose, if you are online dating and looking for your forever partner ... deciding that you should just be friends might be a bit ... well ... harsh. When you are looking for the one to love and settle down with and start a family with, being "just" friends kind ruins future plans.


You have to decide how to let the other person down gently.
Do you pretend for awhile? No, because then you are leading them on.
Do you just blurt it out? No, because then you are insensitive.
So you come up with a speech to let them down easy. And then you feel like the biggest prick in the world because he laments to you that he lives in the Friend Zone.


To most women, it doesn't seem like such a bad deal to have guys who are our friends. Especially if those guys are willing to listen to you, hug you when you are sad, and just generally be there for you (bonus if they are funny and make you laugh) so that you can do the same for them without any expectations or strings attached.  But, it seems that to guys ... this is the worst place to be! It is like the Twilight Zone of relationships and nobody wants to be there. I mean, I get it. If I were placed in the Friend Zone by someone I wanted to be in a relationship with, I would be devastated. But ... you never hear about girls being put in the Friend Zone. It is this elusive place where girls aren't allowed.

Men are put in the Friend Zone and women are just told that "he isn't worthy of you if he doesn't want to date you". Why the double standards?

The Friend Zone isn't a new concept, it is represented in many movies and books throughout time. In the Harry Potter series Severus Snape is the epitome of the example of "friend zoned" as he is placed there early on by Lily Potter and never got out. Gale is Friend Zoned by Katniss in the Hunger Games. George is Friend Zoned by Meredith in favor of McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy. Even Forrest Gump is Friend Zoned by Jenny.


So how do we change the Friend Zone to being a positive rather than negative location? Can it be done? Is it okay for males and females to be friends? 

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Best Laid Plans

Our best laid plans are often ... mislaid.

Most people grow up planning their future. They plan out what GPA they will have in high school ... what college they will attend ... when they will get married ... when and how many children they will have ... where they will live and so much more.

But something tends to happen along the way that makes our straight laced plans go haywire. I saw this picture on Facebook (again) the other day and it really resonated with me.


Looking back at my life, I think of all of the plans that I had envisioned for my future. They, of course, changed as I got older but I always intended that I would meet the man I would marry in college. I would graduate and then we would be engaged and married and having our first child by 26 - 27 at the latest. We would be a happy little family and everything would be perfect.

Of course ... that did not happen and nowhere near close to it. So my straight arrow of a plan turned into a massive jumble of lines with no distinct ending. Here I am at almost 29 and none of those plans I had for my life have come to light.

Is that a problem? For awhile, I would've said yes. But I think that the true answer is no. Would I have loved for that life to be true? The perfect plans and the perfect family and perfect life? Well, yes, absolutely I would say that that would be quite amazing.

But, boring. I think when life follows the straight path we intend for it ... our life doesn't have much excitement. We all could do with less heartbreak, less sadness and do with more joy and happiness. We may find it hard to contain our despair that life is not going how we planned and we may find it hard to accept that the path is not straight and narrow.

Perhaps we should take a page from Robert Frost and take the road less traveled. Embrace the craziness of life, enjoy the twists and turns along the road and learn to like the chaos.