The whole idea of dating is terrifying. It becomes even more terrifying when you have a blind date with someone you met online. But online or not the whole process of dating someone can be exhilarating, terrifying, exciting, disappointing and all the other -ings you can imagine. But the ultimate goal of dating someone is to find someone to marry, yes?
I mean not if you are going out with Wants-Only-Casual-Dating-Guy or Check-Out-My-Abs-Guy then I guess you just want casual dating, whatever that means. But, for most of us that are playing the dating game ... we are ultimately looking for someone to spend the rest of our lives with. We are desperately looking for our future husband.
(Or wife! sorry if there are any male readers out there! By the way ... are you single?)
That's a huge commitment. Like one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make commitments. (I guess that's why guys are so terrified of commitment.)
When in the dating game, most people have a pre-determined set of "deal-breakers" that they consult before giving the nod of approval to some random dude. I mean he could end up as your future husband so you'd better be okay with all of his habits before you say yes to the dress.
The whole concept of deal breakers is really interesting. They are a set of things that we absolutely-positively-without-a-doubt cannot live with things that we are looking for in a partner. We try not to have a terrible long list of deal breakers because let's face it, nobody is perfect. But there are always things that we cannot live without.
For me, my deal breakers consist of:
(1) not wanting kids - this is not a question for me. I will be mother some day come hell or high water I will make that happen. If you don't want kids or there is even a chance of you not wanting kids, then you need not apply.
(2) political beliefs - this never used to be a deal-breaker for me...but time's have changed and I can't spend the rest of my life with someone who supports a candidate who is working against everything I believe to be right
(3) drugs - of any kind ... this includes illegal drugs as well as nicotine addictions
Of course I have some hopes for a future partner (taller than me please!) but those are my only 3 deal breakers. The whole concept becomes trickier as you get older and the dating pool gets exceptionally smaller.
You join the online dating pool and you look and look and look but don't see much to your liking. Then finally you find someone you think you would like to meet and a big flashing light pops up when you find out they don't want kids. Do you throw out your deal breaker?
You see people finding love all around you. Engagements, births, new relationships. Hell, even the volcano in a Pixar short finds love against all odds after sinking into the ocean and resurfacing with a lovely she-volcano by its side. Do you throw out your deal breaker?
You think that maybe it would be okay to have someone who supports an opposite political belief than you because there is an overwhelming amount of them ... maybe it isn't a big deal. You just don't talk about politics, right? Do you throw out your deal breaker?
But that's the thing ... they are a deal breaker for a reason. There might be a saying about throwing all caution to the wind ... but maybe in this case you keep the caution tape up and proceed slowly with your life jacket on as you wade through the pool or opportunity.
I mean not if you are going out with Wants-Only-Casual-Dating-Guy or Check-Out-My-Abs-Guy then I guess you just want casual dating, whatever that means. But, for most of us that are playing the dating game ... we are ultimately looking for someone to spend the rest of our lives with. We are desperately looking for our future husband.
(Or wife! sorry if there are any male readers out there! By the way ... are you single?)
That's a huge commitment. Like one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make commitments. (I guess that's why guys are so terrified of commitment.)
When in the dating game, most people have a pre-determined set of "deal-breakers" that they consult before giving the nod of approval to some random dude. I mean he could end up as your future husband so you'd better be okay with all of his habits before you say yes to the dress.
The whole concept of deal breakers is really interesting. They are a set of things that we absolutely-positively-without-a-doubt cannot live with things that we are looking for in a partner. We try not to have a terrible long list of deal breakers because let's face it, nobody is perfect. But there are always things that we cannot live without.
For me, my deal breakers consist of:
(1) not wanting kids - this is not a question for me. I will be mother some day come hell or high water I will make that happen. If you don't want kids or there is even a chance of you not wanting kids, then you need not apply.
(2) political beliefs - this never used to be a deal-breaker for me...but time's have changed and I can't spend the rest of my life with someone who supports a candidate who is working against everything I believe to be right
(3) drugs - of any kind ... this includes illegal drugs as well as nicotine addictions
Of course I have some hopes for a future partner (taller than me please!) but those are my only 3 deal breakers. The whole concept becomes trickier as you get older and the dating pool gets exceptionally smaller.
You join the online dating pool and you look and look and look but don't see much to your liking. Then finally you find someone you think you would like to meet and a big flashing light pops up when you find out they don't want kids. Do you throw out your deal breaker?
You see people finding love all around you. Engagements, births, new relationships. Hell, even the volcano in a Pixar short finds love against all odds after sinking into the ocean and resurfacing with a lovely she-volcano by its side. Do you throw out your deal breaker?
You think that maybe it would be okay to have someone who supports an opposite political belief than you because there is an overwhelming amount of them ... maybe it isn't a big deal. You just don't talk about politics, right? Do you throw out your deal breaker?
But that's the thing ... they are a deal breaker for a reason. There might be a saying about throwing all caution to the wind ... but maybe in this case you keep the caution tape up and proceed slowly with your life jacket on as you wade through the pool or opportunity.
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