The Grass is Always Greener ... Part 2?

You know it is true what they say ,.. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence... Road...river... State border ... Continent ... Head (I rock the white girl Afro and will never be the I woke up like this model, just sayin').

We, as humans, have an innate need to have what others have. To envy them, for their belongings, home, job, appearance. Why is that? Is it so hard to be happy with what we have?

I write this as I am finishing a strict two day liquid cleanse as part of a 30 day overhaul of my nutritional habits. This two day cleanse had me taking in less than 400 calories a day. I sit hear listening to my stomach rumble for the second time of the day, after putting down a book that outlines in great detail the numerous decadent food options in Paris. Let me just tell you that, yes, it is absolutely possible and appropriate to have a love affair with a pastry as this particular book claims. But that is a story for another day.

As I sit here feeling my body rid itself of toxins and excess fat (okay, I wish I could feel it ...), I found myself thinking:

Damn, my thighs are huge. They are like two elephants wrestling for control of the nonexistent thigh gap.

When did my arms get so flabby? I work out at hours of the morning that shouldn't exist. They should be offering up tickets to the gun show by now.

Why do my calves look like they swallowed a grapefruit? When did they get that big and how do I make it stop? Boot season is upon us and I need to be able to zip them up!

I find myself looking at the crazy thin models and other role models of "beauty" and wishing that I could look like them. Shorter. Skinnier. Perfect hair. Perfect white teeth. Amazing wardrobe.

And then I scold myself because I know that my body is MINE. It doesn't belong to anybody else and nobody else can ridicule it without my direct consent. In fact, there are a lot of people in this world who would love to be my "size" even as I envy others. They want my unruly, curly hair. They would love to be my pant size. And they would even love to be as tall as I am (careful with that one ladies, it's hard to wear heels).

I can't help but ask myself: when do we, as a human race, stop paying attention to the neighbor's yard and start to notice just how green ours is?

Tech - no or yes?

Technology can be a wonderful thing. It can be used to assist humans in every facet of their life. People can buy groceries, clothes, shoes, gifts, TVs, games, books, and movies without leaving the comfort of their own home. We can search for the person of our dreams and even embark on an online date while sitting on the couch in grungy clothes and nobody will ever know that you skipped a shower that morning. We can get a degree, go on virtual field trips, talk to friends, book a vacation, find recipes and never open our mouths. We can stream movies and music without having to go to the store to buy the record or rent the movie. All of this is literally at the tips of our fingers.

This all sounds wonderful, doesn't it? I mean, who seriously doesn't want their groceries delivered to their doorstep? I am guilty of doing many of the activities I listed above and find myself at a loss when the wifi is down. I am a HUGE reader ... but if the wifi is down I can't stream music while I read my real book rather than the computer version of a book. It is so much a part of our lives that many of us do not even know how to function when the internet is down.

Technology is something that makes our lives easier ... but if we take it away can we still function as human beings?

In the world of technology ... you can reinvent yourself online and allow people to get to know the "new" you. You can photoshop your photos, only share your best attributes, and well, lie. Nobody will know unless you decide to meet in real life.

In the world of technology .... students struggle to write complete sentences and rather write using "text speak" -u, r, k, TBT, TTYL, *$, BBIAF, HOYEW. (If the rest of you are wondering what those mean ... don't worry, I had to look it up too...)

In the world of technology ... you can say whatever you want via text or e-mail. The shyest person suddenly becomes the bravest because you don't have to worry about seeing the other person's reactions or feel bad when they start to cry. Because their tears are hidden behind their phone. You don't see the pride, joy, sadness, shame or hurt that comes from your words.

In the world of technology ... you text rather than talk on the phone. In fact, you prefer to text and feel wholly uncomfortable when you are asked to focus solely on a phone conversation and not multi-task.

In the world of technology ... you see tables of people going out to dinner where every single person is holding some form of technology. Even the two year old at the table knows how to work an iPad and can even be seen teaching their parents what to do.

In the world of technology ... you can order drinks, appetizers and even call your server back to your table using a tablet ... which can be found at every single table in the place.

In the world of technology ... you don't dare go somewhere alone without your headphones. You walk through the mall with your head down and eyes blazing holes into your phone screen. You walk with ear buds in as you take the dog out, or when you hike alone on a trail. God forbid you listen to the birds singing.

In the world of technology ... you stay up late on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Instagram, SnapChat checking up on the latest gossip and pics. So much so that the blue light our device emits causes you to sleep poorly ... which in turn causes you to grab the technology which in turn causes you .... you get it.

In the world of technology .... you have millions of books at your finger tips. Many kids prefer to read books on their Kindle, Nook, or iPad rather than experience the feeling of turning the pages by hand.

So where is the happy medium? Should there be tech free hours in homes? Schools? Libraries? At what point does technology do us more harm than good? 

The Most Beautiful....

...church I have ever been in, is a chapel in Paris called Sainte-Chapelle. This is a medieval gothic chapel located in the heart of Paris on the ille de la Cite.

Sainte-Chapelle was built as a royal palace and consecrated in 1248. It was commissioned by King Louis IV to house the Passion Relics of Christ - including part of the Crown of Thrones. Sainte-Chapelle has a lower and an upper chapel.

You enter through the lower chapel and you immediately marvel at the beauty of the architecture. It surrounds you in a cocoon of beauty as you realize that you are standing in the home of the Passion Relics. Now, of course, the Relics are not on constant display - you would have to visit Sainte-Chapelle during Holy Week to see them.

After taking in the serenity of the lower chapel, you climb a spiral stone staircase to the upper chapel... and immediately feel your breathe catch in your chest. The beauty of the upper chapel cannot adequately be described with mere words. The upper chapel is most famous for its incredible stained glass windows. The entire chapel is surrounded by floor to ceiling stained glass arches that tell the story of various books of the bible. Fifteen huge windows, dating back to the 13th century, circle the chapel culminating in a massive rose window depicting the book of Revelations.

There isn't much I can say to explain the beauty of this chapel to you ... so I will let the pictures do their best to speak for me. (The pictures, of course, do not even begin to do this justice.)

The rose window tells the story of Revelations. 

This is from the window that tells the Passion Story. You can see Jesus with the crown of thrones in this small portion of the window. 

I always thought that my church was a beautiful building with lovely stained glass. But after having spent time taking in the gorgeousness of Sainte-Chapelle in Paris ... it all seems too, well, new and perfect. And nowhere near as beautiful. If you ever have the chance to visit Paris be sure to stop into Sainte-Chapelle. You will not regret it. 

Friend Zoned

Recently, I met someone for dinner that I had encountered in the online dating realm. We talked online, texted a lot and finally decided to meet. Our schedules didn't coincide very well and we live almost 2 hours from each other. We finally found a date to meet, made a plan and got together. Everything was great, we talked a lot and there weren't any awkward pauses but I couldn't get the thought out of my head that he would be a great friend. That's it. A friend.

Now, this doesn't seem like the end of the world. But I suppose, if you are online dating and looking for your forever partner ... deciding that you should just be friends might be a bit ... well ... harsh. When you are looking for the one to love and settle down with and start a family with, being "just" friends kind ruins future plans.


You have to decide how to let the other person down gently.
Do you pretend for awhile? No, because then you are leading them on.
Do you just blurt it out? No, because then you are insensitive.
So you come up with a speech to let them down easy. And then you feel like the biggest prick in the world because he laments to you that he lives in the Friend Zone.

To most women, it doesn't seem like such a bad deal to have guys who are our friends. Especially if those guys are willing to listen to you, hug you when you are sad, and just generally be there for you (bonus if they are funny and make you laugh) so that you can do the same for them without any expectations or strings attached.  But, it seems that to guys ... this is the worst place to be! It is like the Twilight Zone of relationships and nobody wants to be there. I mean, I get it. If I were placed in the Friend Zone by someone I wanted to be in a relationship with, I would be devastated. But ... you never hear about girls being put in the Friend Zone. It is this elusive place where girls aren't allowed.

Men are put in the Friend Zone and women are just told that "he isn't worthy of you if he doesn't want to date you". Why the double standards?

The Friend Zone isn't a new concept, it is represented in many movies and books throughout time. In the Harry Potter series Severus Snape is the epitome of the example of "friend zoned" as he is placed there early on by Lily Potter and never got out. Gale is Friend Zoned by Katniss in the Hunger Games. George is Friend Zoned by Meredith in favor of McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy. Even Forrest Gump is Friend Zoned by Jenny.

So how do we change the Friend Zone to being a positive rather than negative location? Can it be done? Is it okay for males and females to be friends? 

The Men of Online Dating, Pt 6

It has been awhile since I wrote about the men of online dating ... but as I continue in this adventure I realized that I forgot one of the men you'll meet while fishing in the murky waters of the online dating pool.

The You Look Nothing Like Your Picture Guy

Like so many other times, you find yourself aimlessly scrolling through the pictures of your "matches" that the computer has somehow scientifically decided you belong with ... and there he is. His picture catches your eye and causes your scrolling finger to leap off of the track pad and abruptly stop the stream of eyes imploring you to click on their profile.

You decide that while it may be too good to be true you click on the photograph anyway. You open up the profile and start to read. Your eyes are widening in disbelief as this guy seems way too good to be true - could this be the man you are going to date? Will he respond? Because, hot damn, he is one attractive man (and yes, let's all accept the fact that looks come first in online dating as shallow as that may seem).

So you send him a message and start down the long road of getting to know someone. Miracle of miracles, everything goes swimmingly and you find out that you have a few things in common (okay, 2 things but he is really cute). Ultimately you decide to meet.

You pick a location, you put on your best outfit and you drive to the predetermined location. You wait. And wait. And wait. Finally someone comes up to you and tells you that they are the person you are meeting.

Say whaaaaat? You have no clue who this person is. The name sounds familiar but you have never seen this person before in your life. Is it a big misunderstanding? Or have you just been cat-fished?

The downfall of online dating is that people can seriously change their appearances, likes or dislikes to make themselves more appealing to you. People, own it. Own who you are and be honest with each other. What do you think is going to happen when you meet? Do you think she (or he for that matter) will just hangout with you when she has no idea who you are? Ever hear of stranger danger?

On the flip side ... I have encountered Ross Geller in my online dating foray ... and since he is a fictional character (from Friends in case you have been living under a rock) from a 90's television show ... I'm going to go with he is the perfect example of this time of man.

Best Laid Plans

Our best laid plans are often ... mislaid.

Most people grow up planning their future. They plan out what GPA they will have in high school ... what college they will attend ... when they will get married ... when and how many children they will have ... where they will live and so much more.

But something tends to happen along the way that makes our straight laced plans go haywire. I saw this picture on Facebook (again) the other day and it really resonated with me.

Looking back at my life, I think of all of the plans that I had envisioned for my future. They, of course, changed as I got older but I always intended that I would meet the man I would marry in college. I would graduate and then we would be engaged and married and having our first child by 26 - 27 at the latest. We would be a happy little family and everything would be perfect.

Of course ... that did not happen and nowhere near close to it. So my straight arrow of a plan turned into a massive jumble of lines with no distinct ending. Here I am at almost 29 and none of those plans I had for my life have come to light.

Is that a problem? For awhile, I would've said yes. But I think that the true answer is no. Would I have loved for that life to be true? The perfect plans and the perfect family and perfect life? Well, yes, absolutely I would say that that would be quite amazing.

But, boring. I think when life follows the straight path we intend for it ... our life doesn't have much excitement. We all could do with less heartbreak, less sadness and do with more joy and happiness. We may find it hard to contain our despair that life is not going how we planned and we may find it hard to accept that the path is not straight and narrow.

Perhaps we should take a page from Robert Frost and take the road less traveled. Embrace the craziness of life, enjoy the twists and turns along the road and learn to like the chaos. 

The Eiffel Tower

I may be jumping out of order in the Fabulous France trip I took ... but as cliche as it is, the Eiffel Tower was one of my favorite parts of the trip. The Eiffel Tower is one of the most iconic landmarks in Paris. Even the most naive person in the world can identify the Eiffel Tower. Any film that is set in Paris includes at least one romantic shot of the tower ... any photograph series set in France will have at least one beautiful photo of the tower ... it is so iconic that even my three year old nephew knew that I was at "Eiffel" but could not tell you I was in France.

I honestly cannot even describe how I felt when I first saw the Eiffel Tower as I flew into Paris. Our plane turned slightly and there is suddenly appeared towering over the rest of Paris through the small window of the plane. I craned my neck and stood up as best I could in my seat barring removing my seat belt and just smiled. My heart swelled and I knew I would love Paris. Even my awake-for-36-hours-sleep-deprived-brain knew that I would forever leave a piece of my heart behind.

The Eiffel Tower is massive, and that is an understatement. The Eiffel Tower was originally built for the World's Fair in 1889. Once the exposition was over, the Parisians wanted it removed but Gustav Eiffel, of course, wanted it to stay. He was so proud of his tower that he decided to add an antennae to the top so that the Parisians would want it to stay to improve radio frequencies (of course this is the high abridged version of the tower's long history). The millennium brought a sparkling light show that would allow the tower to sparkle every hour after dark. It was only meant to last that year but the people fell in love with it and it remains to this day.

I was lucky enough to stay in a hotel that had a roof top terrace where I could watch the Eiffel Tower sparkle in the evening - and I have to say this is one of my favorite views of Paris. We came up here every night we were able and enjoyed a glass of wine and soaked in the view. The Eiffel Tower to one side and Sacre-Coeur to the other. Then at nine-fifty-nine pm we all would jump up and hold onto the railings as we eagerly awaited the show to being. The tower would light up and start to sparkle at ten on the dot and the show would last for five minutes. It would be nearly impossible to drag your eyes away from the glorious twinkling tower in the distance.

While there, we were fortunate enough to eat dinner at 86 Eiffel, which is a restaurant located on the first floor of the tower. It is a completely surreal feeling to know that you are eating dinner ON the Eiffel Tower. Following quite possibly one of the most delicious meals I have ever had ... we climbed the 340+ steps to the second floor of the tower and enjoyed the views there before making our final trek to the top.

I couldn't even believe that I was standing on top of the Eiffel Tower. On top of all that, it was sparkling as we reached the top and I knew that I was part of the beautiful spectacle that I enjoyed nightly. My heart swelled as I walked around the top and I knew in that moment that I would always hold a special place in my heart for Paris ... because Paris is truly always a good idea.

Parfrey's Glen - Wisconsin Trails

Another not-so-hidden treasure of a hike in Wisconsin is Parfrey's Glen. This hike has been floating around the world of Pinterest the past few months as well.  It is located in a similar area to Pewits Nest ... just on the other end of Devil's Lake State Park.

This is another fantastically beautiful hike to take that is totally worth the two hours we spent in the car to get there. It is another family friendly hike that we took with a baby as young as 4 months old to a very young grandma!

Parfrey's Glen is Wisconsin's very first State Natural Area and is located right outside of Devil's Lake State Park and right next to the Ice Age Trail. At most, the glen reaches a height of 100 feet and has a mountain like (chilly) creek flowing through its floor.

The trail takes you from the parking lot to the start of the glen. The path is pretty flat until this point and very easy walking. This portion would be pretty stroller friendly but once you reach the entry of the glen ... the stroller would need to be left behind.

From here you can continue to trek through the glen and enjoy the babbling creek and huge sandstone walls. The walls are sandstone embedded with boulders, pebbles and quartzite. Resist the urge to climb the walls of the canyon and protect the variety of flora that surrounds you.

The whole family enjoyed walking through the creek, scrambling over rocks and fallen logs and going on an adventure! My 6 year old niece exclaimed that "this is the best day of my whole life"!


DO:
-Wear shoes that you don't mind getting wet! Due to flooding and destruction of bridges the past twenty years, there are some areas that you must go in the water to get across and your feet will get wet despite your best intentions.
-Bring a towel and dry shoes.
-Try to stay on the trail ...
-Go on a warm day! The water is quite chilly and you may appreciate the warmer temps!
-Clean up after yourself ... don't leave anything behind! Help keep this area beautiful for future generations.

DON'T:
-Bring food or drink into the park other than water.
-Bring your animals.

Pewits Nest - Wisconsin Trails

Floating around in the Pinterest-sphere are pictures of hidden places to visit in Wisconsin. Of course, now that they have been pinned and repinned and shared and sent, they are no longer hidden treasures but public treasures instead.

One that consistently pops up is a place near Devil's Lake State Park called Pewits Nest. Pewits Nest is a State Natural Area located right outside of Baraboo, Wisconsin. The draw to this particular location is a 30-40 foot deep gorge that was formed by glaciers. A creek then cut its way through the sandstone and created a creek with deeper holes, waterfalls and shallow waters that visitors can walk through.

This hike is a great one for families. The terrain is easy with only a few locations that require a helping hand. I took this hike with my sister, her husband, their 3 year old and 4 month old. The baby was strapped into a baby bjorn and was just along with the ride! The 3 year old did great and had no trouble walking the trail and even enjoyed walking/swimming through the gorge.

The distance from the parking area to the water is not very long at all. It is mostly shaded and flat. Once you get to the water, visitors can choose to walk through the water down the canyon or stick to the trail that meanders along the ridge of the canyon. If you choose to walk through the water, be careful and be prepared to get wet. The water can get quite deep in some areas and it will require that you swim for a short distance.

Either way, it is a BEAUTIFUL place and definitely worth the drive to visit.

DO:
-Bring swim clothes and/or an extra pair of clothes and towel.
-Bring water shoes if you have them! The rocks can be slippery and it is a better alternative to drenching your sneakers ... though I did and it worked out okay!
-Bring a camera, this canyon is gorgeous.
-Clean up after yourself. Don't leave trash lying around, keep this area beautiful for future generations.
-Go on a nice day! The water is a bit chilly and you may appreciate warmer temps if you wish to swim.
-Be prepared to wait for parking. Now that this is no longer a hidden treasure, parking can be hard to find in the lot. Visitors are not allowed to park on the street and will be ticketed if found!

DON'T:
-Bring animals. According to the website animals are not allowed.
-Bring snacks or beverages other than water - they would prefer that you eat your snacks outside of the natural area in order to keep it in good condition.
-Jump from rocks - you may see other people doing this, but the DNR would prefer you don't in order to protect the area.

Normandy

Our second day of the trip was incredibly busy and was spent in Normandy. This day was spent exploring the areas of Normandy that were involved in the D-Day invasion.

We started by going to Caen to visit the Mémorial de Caen - the Peace Memorial. This  museum was created to look at the the time leading up to World War II, World War II and the time afterwards including the Cold War. You start your visit here looking at the time leading up to the second world war. In order to understand why WWII happened, you must understand what was happening before it. From here you journey through attempting to understand genocide, the D-Day Battles and the recreation of a world post war. It was an incredibly moving museum to visit albeit it hard to walk through due to such heavy topics. 

Then we stopped and had lunch in a small town called Arromanches. Our tour guides described it as the Wisconsin Dells of Normandy - full of tourist shops. This town is a historic place of the Normandy landings because an artificial port was built here so that allied troops could unload heavy materials without waiting for the conquest of deeper, permanent ports. 

From here, we headed to the Normandy American cemetery. This is an American cemetery on American soil in France overlooking Omaha Beach. The people of France gifted the Americans this land to bury our soldiers who gave their lives at the D-Day battles. There are thousands of grave stones marking the tombs of these soldiers, over 1,500 who were never identified. Next of kin were given the option to permanently bury their dead at home, but those men would still have a grave marker here.  This is the cemetery that is seen at the start of the movie, Saving Private Ryan, and two of the brothers that movie is based on are buried here. 

Our last stop of the day was at Pointe-du-Hoc. This is where the US Army Rangers scaled the cliff walls in order to attack the Germans. Unfortunately, they were running late and lost the element of surprise. The Germans had fortified this area with casements and gun pits. Despite this, the Rangers did capture this point. Pointe-du-Hoc has been left as it was during the D-day invasions. Visitors can see holes in the ground from dropped bombs, casements still standing and barbed wire from World War II still in its original location. 

Paris is always a good idea

Audrey Hepburn is famously quotes as saying: Paris is always a good idea.

I have always loved this quote but could never truly understand her saying that until I visited Paris myself. I had always felt the pull of Paris and it was a city that rested near the top of my bucket list. The allure of Paris is one that cannot be described but one that is distinctively felt.

Last night I got home from spending a little over a week in France. It was a trip to remember and one that I did not want to come home from. The next several blog posts will chronicle my time spend in France and the adventures that were had.

Our first day in France was busy. We were all incredibly exhausted from flying through the night and sleeping very little on the plane. We arrived at Charles de Gaulle airport (a CRAZY airport) around 6:30 in the morning and off we went. This was not to be a day of rest. A chartered bus picked us up at the airport and we started to drive towards Normandy.

Our first stop was in Giverny at Monet's Gardens. Here we got to see the famed gardens of Monet's many gorgeous paintings. These are the gardens that he built in order to paint during the impressionist movement. Even though his art was then technically not impressionistic ... they were
beautiful. The impressionist movement was when artists started to paint the things that they saw in everyday life and paint it many times in different lights. Because Monet build his gardens to suit his paintings ... they weren't technically impressionistic. But they were gorgeous!

The gardens were ones that every horticulturist dreams of. Gorgeous ponds full of blooming lily pads, flowers of every color in full bloom and quaint bridges ... full of tourists! It was a busy place but definitely worth the stop to see the fabulous gardens. Visitors can also tour the house of Monet and see many of his paintings on display.

From here our bus driver took us to our hotel. We were all incredibly ready to check into our hotel room, grab some dinner at hit the hay! Of course dinner was so delicious and it ended with the best piece of apple tart that I have every had ... Tomorrow we head to the beaches of Normandy! 

He's a Stand Up Guy

I recently had a blind date set up to meet with a boy (yes, I'm going to call him a boy) that I was conversing with sporadically for the past month on one of those oh-so-lovely online dating sites. This particular guy was out of state for work for the duration of our conversations and so our conversations were not lengthy or consistent in nature. I didn't know much about him but when he asked if I wanted to meet, I jumped at the chance.

Okay. Okay. I'll tell the truth. I didn't so much jump at the chance ... it was more like dipping the tiniest portion of skin into the water to make sure it was at least tepid before jumping in. But I did touch the proverbial toe to the water and agreed to meet him for a drink at a local dive bar.

There were a few days between when the plan was made and the actual meeting so we exchanged numbers. We participated in some "flexting" (flirty texting for those of you who had to look it up like me) and shared last names. With the sharing of last names comes Facebook stalking (don't look so shocked, we all do it!).  It all pointed to being a good blind date especially after vetting the guy with a mutual-ish friend.

Then the day of the blind date arrived. I held strong throughout the morning but come afternoon I started to participate in the Getting Ready for a Blind Date ritual. You know ... showering, picking out an outfit, texting your friends to say you don't want to go, picking out a new outfit, convincing yourself you aren't going to vomit, picking out another new outfit, and, finally leaving. I already went into detail about the drive to the date in a previous post, so I won't go there.

Let's fast forward a bit ...

You arrive and grab a seat at the bar a few minutes prior to meeting time so you aren't playing the deer in headlights when you walk in. You order a drink and you start to wait, looking calm and collect and trying not to stare a hole in the center of your phone.

And you wait. The clock now says 5 minutes past when you are supposed to meet. You decide he must just be running late and you text your friend to confirm. They agree and tell you to wait a little longer, I'm sure he'll be there any second they say.

And you wait. Now it is 10 minutes past when you are supposed to wait. You nervously look around the bar to see if anybody else is sitting alone. You pray that the creepy guy across the bar is not the one waiting for you, but soon someone joins him. You make small talk with the buzzed lady next to you as you pretend you know anything about the Women's World Cup.

And you wait. After waiting for 20 minutes you decide to leave. After 20 minutes, your blind date is no longer late, they are just not coming. You have officially been stood up at the bar.

There could be a billion reasons why someone doesn't show up for a date. They get lost, get into an accident, come in and turn around when they see you. Or in my particular case, they take a nap and over sleep.

Turns out the boy (see why I say boy???) you were going to meet wasn't the kind of stand up guy you wanted him to be.

My final thoughts for the day - never underestimate the importance of an alarm clock!

Body Positve Or Not?

I have been thinking a lot about body image lately and how it has become such a buzz word and such a movement in the past year. Not a day goes by that I don't see #bodypositive hashtags populating the internet. And don't get me wrong, I am not saying that this is a bad thing. We should be promoting a body positive movement where we see beauty in every person ... however, when did it become the thing to do? What I mean by that is ... when did our body image problems become so detrimental that we need a body positive movement to make us think higher of ourselves?

Body image is something that I have struggled with my entire life. As the chubby child who didn't wear name brand clothes (I LOVED my home made jumpers thank you very much), and whose hair channeled Hermione Granger long before her inception I was often made fun of. Once I added on braces, loving school and glasses? Forget about it. I was every middle school bully's dream.

I grew up envying the "popular" kids around me who were thin, pretty and who could step out of the shower with hair straight out of a Pantene shampoo ad. But why? I was a happy child. I had friends and I got along with my family. So why did I envy the beauty of others rather than focusing on my own, albeit goofy, beautiful self?

The problem of course, or so I believe, stems from the media. When we look at movies, magazines, books, commercials and TV shows it has always been rare to see a "normal" bodied human being represented. Now, I put "normal" in quotation marks because what is normal? When I say normal, I mean that we are not representing a variety of people. Even when the goofy "duff" of a best friend is represented ... the purpose of the movie becomes to make her the belle of the ball. Take off her glasses and run a comb through her hair and voila! She is Cinderella in the flesh. But why can't the goofy, awkward, not put together best friend fall in love with the leading man just as she is? Why is it some major transformation that finally wins him over? Can't he love her for her brains and personality first and looks second?

When this is what we encounter as stimulus overload day after day after day how can we be expected to live a body positive life? 

Karma

Today marks the three month milestone since the break up of my ex and I. I don't think about him on a daily basis anymore though sometimes he does scratch his way into my consciousness. I have spent more time in the past three months thinking about Karma and why good things happen to bad people and on the flip side why bad things happen to good people?

I realize that nobody is all good nor are they all bad. I'm sure even the fairest of them all has a guilty obsession or a bad thought here or there. It's only natural. But if we really look at the concept of Karma ...

Do people really get what's coming to them? Does what goes around really come around?

The whole idea surrounding karma is that if you live a good life, then your life will be filled with good things. But if you live a life full of bad deeds, then you will have bad things happen to you. In Hinduism and Buddhism, karma is the sum of deeds in this and all previous forms of existence which will decide your fate in future existence's.

So you start to think about karma and you start to look back at the choices you have made in your life. You decide that you ultimately have lived a good life and have ultimately made good choices. You put others first and helped where you could. You volunteered your time and donated money to charity. You compare that to what you really want in your life and you ask yourself, "What the **** did I do in a past life to deserve this?"

Is it really that simple?

Can we chalk all of our missed encounters or the experiences we have in life to fate or destiny?

If that is true then that means that the widowed mother of four whose home went up in flames did something truly awful in her past life. That the homeless man who won the lottery lived a life of quiet servitude in his past life. That the child who grew up in a home of abuse deserved it from a previous life of bad choices?

Is that karma or just luck? A lot of people have a lot of feelings about the validity of karma. I can't exactly say where I stand.

So, what is it?
Is Karma truth?
Does everything we do in this life have a say in our next life?
If we ruin our run as the Prince, do we return as a pauper?
Or is it garbage? Karma isn't real and it is just the luck of the draw?

I guess we'd better make good choices and BE KIND just in case ..

Let's Make a Deal .... Or Not

The whole idea of dating is terrifying. It becomes even more terrifying when you have a blind date with someone you met online. But online or not the whole process of dating someone can be exhilarating, terrifying, exciting, disappointing and all the other -ings you can imagine. But the ultimate goal of dating someone is to find someone to marry, yes?

I mean not if you are going out with Wants-Only-Casual-Dating-Guy or Check-Out-My-Abs-Guy then I guess you just want casual dating, whatever that means. But, for most of us that are playing the dating game ... we are ultimately looking for someone to spend the rest of our lives with. We are desperately looking for our future husband.

(Or wife! sorry if there are any male readers out there! By the way ... are you single?)

That's a huge commitment. Like one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make commitments. (I guess that's why guys are so terrified of commitment.)

When in the dating game, most people have a pre-determined set of "deal-breakers" that they consult before giving the nod of approval to some random dude. I mean he could end up as your future husband so you'd better be okay with all of his habits before you say yes to the dress.

The whole concept of deal breakers is really interesting. They are a set of things that we absolutely-positively-without-a-doubt cannot live with things that we are looking for in a partner. We try not to have a terrible long list of deal breakers because let's face it, nobody is perfect. But there are always things that we cannot live without.

For me, my deal breakers consist of:
(1) not wanting kids - this is not a question for me. I will be mother some day come hell or high water I will make that happen. If you don't want kids or there is even a chance of you not wanting kids, then you need not apply.
(2) political beliefs - this never used to be a deal-breaker for me...but time's have changed and I can't spend the rest of my life with someone who supports a candidate who is working against everything I believe to be right
(3) drugs - of any kind ... this includes illegal drugs as well as nicotine addictions

Of course I have some hopes for a future partner (taller than me please!) but those are my only 3 deal breakers. The whole concept becomes trickier as you get older and the dating pool gets exceptionally smaller.

You join the online dating pool and you look and look and look but don't see much to your liking. Then finally you find someone you think you would like to meet and a big flashing light pops up when you find out they don't want kids. Do you throw out your deal breaker?

You see people finding love all around you. Engagements, births, new relationships. Hell, even the volcano in a Pixar short finds love against all odds after sinking into the ocean and resurfacing with a lovely she-volcano by its side. Do you throw out your deal breaker?

You think that maybe it would be okay to have someone who supports an opposite political belief than you because there is an overwhelming amount of them ... maybe it isn't a big deal. You just don't talk about politics, right? Do you throw out your deal breaker?

But that's the thing ... they are a deal breaker for a reason. There might be a saying about throwing all caution to the wind ... but maybe in this case you keep the caution tape up and proceed slowly with your life jacket on as you wade through the pool or opportunity.

Disney in a Day

So you have one day set aside for Disney World ... what do you do? Why you do it all, of course! You make that day into a marathon of a day and you do everything you possible can because you can sleep when you are dead!

At least that is what we took that to mean ... On our vacation to Florida this month we were given a one day park-to-park pass for Disney World and we didn't really know what to do. So, we tried to do it all. We started our day at Animal Kingdom, spent our afternoon at Hollywood Studios and then ended our day at the Magic Kingdom. Three parks in One day. It was a whirlwind but it was amazing.

The last time I did the whole Disney experience, I was 7 years old. It was an incredible trip but admittedly I remember most of it through the pictures that my parents took.  At that point in the history of Disney, the Animal Kingdom did not exist yet. Neither did my long term memories, I suppose! Then 5 years ago we did a day pass at the Magic Kingdom and did it up! This trip, I wanted to see everything I could possibly see.

So ... here is how you see three Disney parks in a day!

Morning
Start your morning by heading straight to the Animal Kingdom. The park opens at 9 and I suggest getting there at 8:45 so you can take the tram in from the parking lot, get through security and make the most of your time there. I'm told that Animal Kingdom only takes a few hours and although we didn't do all of the rides, I can see how that is true. Though if you enjoy strolling through animal parks and on trails, this park could take you all day.

Upon arrival in the park head straight back to the Kilimanjaro Safari. This is a safari jeep ride through the animal reserve. The number of animals you will see depends on the time of day and the heat. I suggest going right away because animals are more active in the morning. We were lucky enough to see giraffes (include a baby), elephants, rhino, hippo, and many other animals that you wouldn't see at a normal zoo! Bring your camera and have it ready!

After your Kilimanjaro Safari, you have some options as to where you go next. BUT there are some things that you definitely SHOULD. NOT. MISS.

• Festival of the Lion King - This is an incredible show featuring song, dance, gymnastics and huge animatronics. The music is phenomenal and the show is incredibly entertaining. If we had more time, we would have watched this show again! The show lasts about 30 minutes and it is in the Africa section of the park. 

• Finding Nemo, The Musical - This is my favorite show of the ones we saw at Disney! It was AWESOME. This 40 minute musical is shown in Dinoland USA and is a show that you cannot miss. The musical tells the story of Nemo and has actors holding giant puppets for their characters. They are so effective that you don't notice the actors under the fish. If you have a special part in your heart for the Finding Nemo movie, then definitely make time for this. 

• It's Tough to be a Bug - This 4D show is really entertaining but might be scary to small children. It is in a theater that uses 3D glasses to bring the bugs to life. It would probably help if you have seen the Bug's Life movie, but it is an entertaining and somewhat smelly show...

Afternoon
Time's Up at Animal Kingdom! From here, head to Hollywood Studios! We were lucky enough to be there are on the final Star Wars weekend. Hollywood Studios was a fun park to be at if you have an appreciation for the movies. A couple of rides to hit at this park...

• The Great Movie Ride - This is a really fun ride that takes you through the history of movies. You will see scenes from famous movies made from Audio-Animatronics .
• Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular - This is a great stunt show that demonstrates how stunt doubles work in a movie. It brings the movie to life as they work out some of the stunts Indy uses in the movie. This show also involves audience participation! 
• Voyage of the Little Mermaid - This is a great 15 minute show that quickly runs through the story of the Little Mermaid. Ursula is a little creepy but the show is great! 
• Star Tours the Adventure Continues - This is a great ride if you are a fan of Star Wars! You'll meet R2-D2 and 3CPO as they take you on this ride. This ride has several different scenarios that you could experience so ride this one more than once! You'll have a different adventure every time! 

Evening
You only have the afternoon at Hollywood Studios so make sure that you head to the Magic Kingdom for the evening. The Magic Kingdom is open until midnight or 1 am depending on when you go so get ready to stay up late! We didn't do a TON of rides here since we had been to this park in the semi-recent past but be sure to hit the classics. 

• Haunted Mansion
• It's a Small World - Okay, so I know the song is annoying and I certainly don't need to ride this one more than once ... but come on! You have to do it! 
• Under the Sea - Journey of the Little Mermaid - this is a newer ride in the new and improved Fantasy Land and we were really impressed! 
• Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin - Help Buzz Lightyear capture Zurg as you try to shoot aliens!
• Electric Lights Parade - be sure to take a break and watch the Electric Lights Parade! It is a really fun parade with great music and lots of Disney characters making appearances! 

All in all, enjoy your day(s) at Disney! We were exhausted after leaving the park at midnight but it was well worth it! Show your Disney side! 

Universal Studios Tips and Tricks

Our trip to Universal was a whirlwind ... but I did learn a few things during the 2 1/2 days we spent there. So ... here are my tips and tricks to make your trip as fun as it can be!

• Buy your tickets online. They are cheaper online than they are at the gate. Look around for discounts - different groups may offer corporate discounts or loyalty programs.
• Bring water bottles and snacks. Universal is great in the way that it allows you to bring in your own water bottles, granola bars, fruit or vegetables. They will search your bags but they allowed us to bring in cliff bars and water bottles for lunch. 
• Download the Universal Wait Time app if you have a a smart phone. This saved us and allowed us to do everything we wanted to do at the best time. 
• Enjoy the wait ... Universal does a really great job with entertaining guests while waiting in the lines. The lines cycle through sets where you can feel that you are part of the action and brings the movies to life.
• If you are going in the summer ... dress cool! It gets pretty darn warm and humid. A lot of the line are covered ... but not all. Bring sun glasses, hats, water and wear shorts. 
• There are Starbucks on property and they will accept a Starbucks gift card if you have them. It is a great place to get a cold drink on a hot afternoon.

Then there are the rides ... there were several rides that we didn't have strong feelings about riding, but it turns out they were some of the best rides there!

• Despicable Me Minion Mayhem - I really wanted to ride this one but the lines were always huge. My tip is to go to this ride right at park opening. The wait time will be shortest at this point. It is a really fun ride and the best I can compare it to is the game Minion Rush. It is a really fun 3D ride where you feel as if you are actually on a roller coaster! It was a really fun ride, but over quickly. If you appreciate minion humor, then it is a must see.
  

• Poseidon's Fury - This isn't a ride so much as an interactive show. You take a tour of Poseidon's ancient temple led by a "local archeologist" who does a STELLAR job. We were really impressed with the actor who led our tour but figure he must be exhausted by the end of the day! The line can be long on this way but it is also a great option if it is raining outside. I give this ride two thumbs up.
  
• The Amazing Adventure of Spider-Man - This ride was spectacular. I have seen the Spiderman movies but have never had strong feelings either way about riding the superhero rides. But we decided to go for it on this one because it wasn't a loop-de-loop roller coaster but it was AH-MAZING. This is definitely a ride not to be missed. If we had another day we probably would have ridden this one again!

• Harry Potter Escape from Gringotts  - This ride was awesome and again the wait time isn't bad if you go right away in the morning. Universal creates the world of Gringotts for you to explore as you wait in line.
  
• Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey - This ride is incredible but may leave you feeling a little nauseous. It is more on the side of a roller coaster than a basic ride but it is well worth the feeling! You will feel like you are flying over Hogwarts castle as you follow Harry and Ron on their broomsticks.
  
• Dr. Seuss Land Caro-Seuss-el - Yes, it is a carousel that you might attribute to a children's ride ... but who doesn't love to go round and round on one of Dr. Seuss' magical creations? To top it off ... this ride books it. It isn't the typical slow moving carousel, you better buckle up, hold on and enjoy the ride! 

All in all, enjoy your trip to Universal! 

Harry Potter: Hogsmeade

After your adventure in Diagon Alley be sure to travel in style to Hogsmeade just as the average witch or wizard does on their way to school. Hop aboard the Hogwarts Express! Be sure you have your wand and all wizarding supplies before you head to school!

The Hogwarts Express ride is unique depending on which way you travel so be sure to ride it in both directions. Be sure to pay attention to both the windows and the doors as the adventure is shown on both directions. The train is built to look just like the Hogwarts Express and it is a very comfortable ride between parks. If you get on the train from King's Cross Station you will get to walk through Platform 9 and 10 to enter 9 3/4. Make sure someone in your party stays a few steps behind to capture your movement through the wall.

It does require a park to park ticket to ride so make sure you get one before you go!

Once you finish your ride on the train, head straight to the castle and get in line for this ride. Once again, we only waited about 45 minutes but the line can take several hours. This ride though, is incredibly worth the wait. There is SO much to see and take in throughout the ride. You get a full tour of the castle and the grounds. Take a peek into Dumbledore's office, the herbology classrooms and much, much more!

This ride is REALLY fun but also a bit more like a roller coaster. I feel a little queasy after riding this one, but it is SO. MUCH. FUN. This is another 3D ride and is a twirling, whirling, screaming and screeching kind of ride. Definitely brace your stomach and do the ride even if you don't have rock hard nerves. 

The Flight of the Hippogriff is also a really fun ride. Take a peek at Hagrid's Hunt and meet Buckbeak the Hippogriff on this low stress roller coaster. Fun for the whole family! 

Both parks have a lot of fun live performances, so be sure to check the schedule and take in a few of them! Diagon Alley has more live shows than Hogsmeade but take in the shows in both parks. Don't forget to grab another Butterbeer to enjoy with the show!